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More Gang Life Q & A -HOMEPAGE
Questions about Gang Life
Answers
Hey once you are in a gang can you get out of it in other words not join
it anymore?
Dear friend,
There are a number of gangs out there who operate under many different
rules. The most common things with gangs is that once you are in, you are
in for life or you would pay a heavy price to get out. That price usually
means you have to pay with your skin, in more ways than one. The best
thing to do is not to join a gang to begin with. However, if you are in a
gang and do want to get out, I do suggest that you bring as much attention
to the situation as possible. That means you talk to your parents,
extended family members, concerned friends, someone from your church.
Anyone who may be able to help, you go to them.
Luis D.
New Jersey
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If you weren't in prison do you think you would still be in the gang or
think the same way you do now?
Diana
Honestly Diana, I cannot give you an anwser in pure confidence either way.
I know that I would have made the change eventually; but if I would have
changed my way of thinking by nineteen like I did here, while on the
streets I don't honestly know. This was my biggest mistake -- waiting to
make change in my life instead of just doing it. However, I will give you
some of my experience and hope that you are able to take something
positive from it.
I'm originally from North Miami Beach, and against popular belief, it's
not all fun and sun. One of the two major reasons for my family moving
here to New Jersey was to get me away from the gang life I was living.
When I got up here, my surroundings had changed but I didn't. I fell into
a depression, still wanted to click-up and hang on the streets like I was
doing before.
There was one difference now though. I had more family members involved in
my life, so I began to slow down. I had a lot more people to answer to and
I didn't want to let them down. I was still depressed though, wasn't doing
good in school, and I was missing all my friends. I guess acting and being
the way I was, was a way of holding on to them. Still, second thoughts
started to come into my mind and heart. More people caring for me (family
members and some real friends) made me start caring about myself more.
That had me starting to look towards a future, a future I used to believe
that, with all my heart and soul, wasn't there.
Obviously something went wrong since I am writing you from prison!
A week before I caught this charge (murder) I told one of my friends that
I had enough of this life, meaning that I was tired of hanging out,
getting high, and living a life that was not going to take me anywhere I
wanted to be, ironically! Still, as bad as I wanted to change, I didn't
know how. I knew that living that way was wrong but I didn't know how to
put one foot in front of the other in order to walk into a better life. As
silly as it may sound, I was afraid to ask for help. I thought that I
would be looked upon as strange or weak, even by my own family. The thing
is that, though I wasn't strange (no teenager should be expected to know
how to handle life) I was weak, in not recognizing my weakness of mind and
emotion and asking for help. Routine turned out to be stronger than
anything else and I went to hang out a week after. Since hanging out
didn't consist of doing much, I didn't think much of it. Well that day it
consisted of me getting a double life sentence.
The first year though I was never scared; I was confused, going to court
not understanding anything about it. I moved from juvi' hall to the county
jail and then to prison. For the next year I was very angry with everyone
and everything, but mostly myself. I was so close to not even being in
this place, but since hanging out was so routine, I didn't think anything
would happen since nothing usually happened, like I said before.
Anger eventually left from me. I figured I still had to honor the
statement I made a week before falling into this. My life is already
controlled by others the way it had been on the streets. Now at least, I
can choose the type of person I will die as. Furthermore, I don't do this
time by myself. My family also does this time with me, so my punishment
doesn't just come from physically being locked-up, but their continued
pain is even harder to deal with sometimes. With the love I have for
myself, the conviction and all these reasons, I have to make something out
of my life -- even from inside prison!
So, even before prison I began to think in the manner I do now but I had
no direction or conviction and was weak to my way if life, my routine. As
bad as I want to tell you that I wouldn't be in a gang and still think the
way I do now, I'm not 100% sure. I know that if I was to get out of here
today I wouldn't be the same, cause I'm not the same. I am a man now and
can proudly stand on my own two feet.
I still have love for the people I dealt with. That hasn't changed, but I
know that I don't have to do, or be in, the same things they do. If
anything I would try to get them away from that life, if they're still in
it (I don't know since I never heard anything from any of them since this
happened). My love is too real and big for me to let them fall further
into that hole. I don't need anything I used to get from that life. Even
though one or two things I got from it were good, most of it was bad; and
I'd gladly do without those few good things not to get all that bad stuff
that comes with it. You can find real love, patience and understanding
elsewhere without all that other bull@#$%!
The last thing I want to do is to leave you with the impression that
prison is a place to get your @#$%! together. Everyone can and should do
it out of prison, just have the heart and conviction to do it. Take
yourself importantly an be smart, cause you are important!!! I hope I have
come close to answering your question and that you could gain some insight
from reading this letter. You don't have to live something in person to
know it or understand it as being wrong!
In progress and with love - Luis B.
New Jersey
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Dear Diana,
I come to you with the hope and blessings of God, that at the end of this
letter your question may have been answered.
My name is Michael R. I am currently residing at the New Jersey State
Prison serving a double life sentence.
I was in a gang for eight years. I decided to call it quits due to my
incarceration. There's no doubts in my mind that if I wouldn't have gotten
incarcerated, I would still be in the gang.
When I was in society, I didn't have any goals for myself other than
living life day to day. Since my incarceration, I've obtained my high
school diploma and Im currently seeking college courses to enhance my
education. I spend most of my time reaching out to the youth, hoping that
they won't make the same mistakes I've made.
I conclude this letter by saying, yes I would have still been in a gang if
I weren't in prison, and no, I wouldn't be thinking the way I do now.
Today I think of the youth for our future.
Diana, if there is anything else you wish to know about gangs, please feel
free to write. We must teach our youth the manipulation of gangs.
Michael R.
New Jersey
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Gang Answers To Questions21
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