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More Gang Life Q & A -HOMEPAGE
Questions about Gang Life
Answers
Some people need to prove themselves. Even when you do not want to kill
somebody, things happen.
A Prisoner
New Jersey
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I never killed anybody but I did have to do other things.
A Prisoner
New Jersey
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I been having a hard time because my mom keeps on asking me if I’m in a
Gang I keep on telling her that I’m not in one. Well I am in a gang. And
she keeps on trying to change who I am. I don’t know any other way of
living. So how can I get her to understand that this is who I am? Because
we argue a lot of times. The last argument we had was last night. And I’m
just tired of it all! Like I don’t know what I should do. A couple of
times I thought about running away, but I don’t know. I keep on thinking
well maybe there might be another way.
Rachael
Dear Rachael,
How you doing? I am a gentleman that writes to the kids through the Gangs
and At-Risk Kids Organization. I happen to read your letter and it gave me
the impression that you are looking for help and for another way to
understand your way of life, and you are completely right there is another
way. There is so much you could do with your life. But first you must ask
yourself, what it is that you really want out of your life? Because I know
that when you was a little girl your dreams, wasn't to be in a gang.
Right? So can you please ask yourself and please be honest with yourself,
“What do I really want”? Because being in a gang is definitely not a
future for you or anyone.
Concerning the arguments with your Moms, Rachael all she wants is the best
for you. That is the only reason why she keeps asking you about the gang
because she cares for you. Always remember that our parents always know
best and more than we do. You may not see it that way now but in the
future, when you get older you will. Try to listen to your mother and
understand where she’s coming from, and you will see that all she wants is
the best for you, nothing else.
Now, concerning about who your are, do you really know who you are? Are
you sure about that? If so answer these questions to yourself:
Where your Thoughts come from?
Do you know that your Body is one thing, and you are another?
Do you know where your feelings and desires come from?
Do you know that you could be anything you desire to be?
Do you know that you possess many hidden talents that you don't know of?
Did you know that you are something completely different than a name?
Did you know because you are in a gang that's not who you are or what you
are'?
Do you know the purpose of your life?
Because it’s definitely not being a gang member, so if you could answer
any of these questions, then you will begin to know who you really are.
Rachael before you could say that there is no other way, first you have to
really try to do other things you never did before. How you know, what
else you could do, or be, if you don't try? Give yourself a chance to be
all that you could be. There is so much more to life than being in a gang,
specially for a young girl like you. You have your whole life ahead of
you. But you have to think and find out what it is that you really want.
First find your purpose, then create a plan, then put it into action, and
make it real. Follow your dreams, make then come true. There is nothing
impossible if you really want it. With discipline, sacrifice, hard work,
and determination you could succeed in anything you put your mind to. So,
sit down, take time for yourself, and really, really think about your
future and where you want to be five or ten years from now, and what you
want to accomplished with your life and yourself. If you take this time
for yourself to think, but really think and be honest with yourself about
what you really want, I promise you, you will start to see so many
different things you want for yourself about life in general. So give
yourself a chance, and give Moms a chance to be a part of your life
instead of arguing with her about issues that she has the right to argue
about because she loves you.
And I dare you to be different. Find your own identity Rachael, be
yourself don't be a follower like everyone else in those gangs. You could
do so much better by being yourself and different. Try new things. Meet
new people. Go to different places. Learn new hobbies. Don't be scared of
a change or to be someone different. If you try your will see, that your
strength and character and motivation for life will be much better, and
you will be surprised at the beautiful things that you will accomplished
for yourself!
Well Rachael I hope my words find something inside of your heart that I
know is there hidden and waiting to come out to prove to the world and to
yourself that you could be all that and some. Give yourself the initiative
and desire to be the women you came to this world to be. May God bless
you, and help you change. Good Luck and be yourself not what others want
you to be.
Sincerely - Ricardo
New Jersey
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Dear Rachael,
My name is D.J. I’m 18 years old and I also stay in California
(California’s Department of Corrections - better know as prison). I’m
serving 23 years for the hood. Ain’t no homie looked out for me and tried
to take some of this time off my hands, or even wrote to me sayin good
lookin out for not snitchen on the set. I was a rep for my hood out on the
street. My moms didn’t care, and my pops wasn’t there but in the same spot
I’m in now. I didn’t have the opportunity to have my moms care enough to
ask questions about me or my life…. You do ma! Your moms care about you,
or at least for you. Let her help, cause this game ain’t jack but
shattered dreams and broken hearts. You said you tired of it all - well
knock it off and get helped.
From a young Ge that knows - D.J.
California
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Dear Rachael,
Your mother really loves you; that’s why she keeps asking you if you’re in
a gang. She can sense that something is wrong with her relationship with
you. You have continually lied to your mother and you say, “That’s who you
are. You don’t know any other way of living.” Come on Rachael! That’s not
who you are really, is it? You seem so smart to me. Something is wrong;
something has been wrong in your life for a long time and it’s not your
fault Rachael. Your mom has had it hard. Parents don’t always know how to
be there for their children, and it’s not ever the child’s fault. But what
usually happens is that the child does go outside of the family in search
of that moral support that for some reason their parents weren’t able to
provide. So, as with you, the child joins a gang.
Running away would be the wrong thing to do. Your mother needs you just as
much as you need her. She knows that you are a strong young woman, but
because life has been so stressful on her, she lost her connection with
you and she doesn’t know how to get it . She argues with you because
she only knows how to relate to you from that place of however old you
where when she still had her connections with you. She’s in a lot of pain
from losing that connection and you are too, but being in a gang helps you
numb that sense of loss. You sound like you two lost your connection quite
a few years ago.
You’re becoming a young woman now Rachael. The decisions you made as a
child (such as joining a gang) don’t have to be binding. Your mom did the
best that she could under the circumstances. I know it wasn’t all you
needed her to be, but life wasn’t easy for her either, and this isn’t
making excuses for her because there are no justifications for neglecting
your child. Yet, I believe that she did her best with what she had for
support. It’s obvious because of how smart you seem to be. You’re right -
there is another way. And that’s for you to step away from childish
things. Step into your adulthood. Take charge of your life in a
responsible, positive, and productive manner. Your relationship with your
mom is severely wounded; you’re wounded; your mother’s wounded as well.
Don’t make her suffer by continuing to live your life from the mind set of
an adolescent. Step into your young-womanhood. Finish your education; seek
healing for yourself and your relationship with your mother. She’s not
your enemy. You don’t have to run away from her. You may be the strongest
one in the family. Any time you’re involved with something that makes you
lie to your mother, it’s something that isn’t good for you. You’re better
than that Rachael. Let me ask you this: Do you remember what was happening
in your family when your relationship with your mom started going bad?
Tell me about that.
Sincerely - Blue Cloud
California
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Rachel
“Rachel” a 17 year old in a gang? You should be focusing on going to
college at this point in your life Ma. I mean like, I don’t know how it is
where you live nowadays but I do know over here in Jersey these bangers
are officially throwing their lives away for real. Why are you lying to
your moms? If that is true then I can bet you are living in shame everyday
you wake up. Because you are doing something you’re sneaking around to do
and you’re not comfortable with it. Your mom loves you so of course she
wants the best for you. You need to want the best for you though. You dig?
You said you don’t know any other way of living. Well, guess what? You
better learn another living because they are not playing with these new
laws they’re making like “Urban Terrorists” and the “Nut Cracker Law”.
Rachel baby I am praying for you and your situation. I feel your pain for
real. You said you are tired of it all. Guess what? Me too, being in a
gang can tire you down on many levels. You can’t run away that won’t solve
nothing. It will only have your moms hurting more from not knowing where
you at. Please don’t do that, it’s not wise at all. Talking to your moms
is the only thing I suggest or just tone it down some & try to make wise
decisions in your life. After all you are of age now ma. Pretty soon you
will be 18 and out of the care of your moms. However, moms going to always
be moms. Feel me? Take care of yourself shorty and try not to throw your
life away.
ONE LOVE!!! - FACE!!!
New Jersey
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Okay Rachael,
I know you may not see eye to eye on your gang thing with your mom, but
running away is not the answer. Running away will only make matters worse.
I know at your age, you believe you have all the answers and parents just
don’t understand! Well have you ever stopped to consider that maybe your
mom may have a reason to worry? Maybe she knows what you’re going through
because maybe she’s been through that herself. I don’t know if she has but
regardless, if she has or hasn’t, she’s only sweating you because she
cares about you and you should be thankful you have a parent who cares
about you that much.
You say you’re a gang member. That’s who you are and you want your mother
to understand and accept that. Well, first of all, you are only 17 years
old. No one really knows who they are at 17. And second, how can you
really expect your parents to accept that? Your parents want the best for
you, and telling them, "I’m a gang member and you just need to accept it!”
is like saying, “I’m going to be a loser all my life and you just need to
accept that!” No - that’s not acceptable. You’re only 17 years old. You
have your whole life ahead of you. I can’t believe your only goal in life
is to be a gang member! You can be so much more if you only try, and if
you settle for just being a gang member, not only will you let yourself
down, but you’ll be letting down all your gente.
And believe me Rachael, I know because I’ve been there done that a long
time ago, and now I’m sitting here in Pelican Bay for the rest of my life.
I’m not saying you’ll make the same bad decisions I made, but I know life
as a gang member, male or female is not easy! At first it’s fun, but the
fun doesn’t last forever. I know at your age you may not be able to see
where I’m coming from, but I hope you will at least consider my response,
because I would hate to see another wasted life.
Sergio
California
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Gang Answers To Questions15
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